There and Back Again
Kia ora and hello! I am coming up to week 6 of my time in the great white north. This has been my first time back home since January of last year and it has been fun, relaxing, difficult, different, and quite interesting.
That being said let's begin!
“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit or There and Back Again
This is how I feel a lot of the time. Just a little hobbit going headlong into the unknown with nothing but a little faith.
This past year has been the most impactful year of my life. The way I view God has changed, the way I view others has changed, and the way I view myself has changed.
Coming home has been very interesting, almost as a dream. Everything is familiar, and yet nothing is as it once was. Just different enough to not seem like "home".
This got me thinking about what home really meant to me.
Is this me coming home for a visit or leaving home on vacation? Is my home what it says on my passport or is there more to it than that? If you asked me on the street I would say I am from Canada. Although to me my current home is definitely New Zealand. So why is New Zealand my home now?
I think my concept of "home" has changed in the past year.
Home to me is wherever God calls me. Wherever His presence leads me. Because I know that where He leads me is where I am meant to be, and home is a place you are meant to be.
Home is a choice.
Whenever we are in a place or a season we are given the opportunity to call it home or reject it.
While home is a place that we long for, where we feel rest and reason, peace and purpose, our true home is found in God. He is the one who gives us refuge and purpose. When we trust that God has us where He wants us and His plan then we can rest right where we are and anywhere we are can become our home.
I am currently in Canada, heading back to New Zealand shortly. While I do feel New Zealand is my home now I'll be honest, I haven't followed this advice super well. I could have made this my home for this season but instead I have made it a time looking forward to the next season. But nobody is perfect and I am no exception. So all I can do is learn to be present, and hopefully you can too.
When we are placed in a season there is nothing to do but take a little faith, and go forward.
I am only in Canada for another week and a bit! It has been an incredible time meeting with friends and family. Going on adventures and seeing sights that I don't take for granted anymore. It has been a time of rest, maybe too much rest but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. A time of preparing myself for the future by support raising, spending time in prayer, and resting while I can. It has not always been easy here but it has been worthwhile.
I am so thankful for all of you I have been able to meet with and talk to, and all of you who have decided to support me going back to New Zealand. I am grateful that God has placed you all in my life and that I always know I have family here that have my back. That I have a team that prays for me and fights for me.
Upon returning to YWAM Furnace New Zealand I will be joining the Prayer and Worship team and getting involved wherever there is need on the base and in local ministry. Then I will be getting ready for staffing the School of Worship happening in October.
I have committed for the next three years there but will return by Gods grace every once in a while for a visit!
Prayer Requests:
For finances and support for living in New Zealand. I am still in need of financial support.
For my last week and a bit in Canada. To get what I need to done and things ready for my return.
For a willing spirit going into this next season. That I will be wholehearted and attentive to what God wants to do.
For wisdom as I go back to rest when needed and to work where God wants.
For courage and boldness in stepping into what God has called me to.
Thank you all so much! I know it has been a while since my last update so thank you for being patient with me. I love you all and God Bless!
Benjamin Ens
